Love is in the Air: 3 Habits to Practice Self-Love
I grew up in a Christian home that throughout childhood challenged me with the two greatest commandments; to love your God with all your heart and to love your neighbor as yourself. I thought I truly knew how to love myself until I had my first child. I know, it’s cheesy! Over the past almost two years that I have been raising my daughter, I noticed the loving and caring things that I would do for her – I don’t do for myself. Sound familiar? When she cried; I would hold her and comfort her. Meanwhile, I did not show the same gentleness to my own intense emotions. Keeping myself busy and shaming is the way I would show myself what I thought was “tough love”. Further down in the “self-loving” relationship that I thought I had cultivated with myself, I noticed I would try to pick out the healthiest most organic produce that my budget would allow for my precious baby, meanwhile chomping on some leftover pizza. Of course, most of us would do anything for our kids and I believe that this is a very natural parental instinct that we as humans are lucky to have! Nevertheless, this new experience in my life of becoming a mother revealed that I knew very little about how to truly experience self-love.
Below I am sharing 3 habits that can help you truly love yourself.
1. Create a safe space for your emotions - We tend to welcome happy and exciting emotions and avoid intensely negative ones – because they are scary and uncomfortable and our brains are trying to keep us safe. Unfortunately, these avoided emotions tend to fester and reveal themselves in other ways such as a grouchy complaint for receiving the wrong Starbucks order or snapping at your spouse. One way that we can show unconditional love for ourselves is to create a safe space in our minds to experience even the heart-wrenching emotions that come with a loss, or a breakup. By providing comfort to ourselves as we would for our children or a pet; we are actively choosing to love ourselves.
2. Take care of your body – It’s so much easier to tell your child to eat broccoli while not taking into consideration your nutritional intake or to take your child to doctor check-ups while completely forgetting about your own. Through the hustle and the bustle of life, it’s easy to put your health on the back burner. I encourage you to focus on taking small steps daily to treat your body like you would your child’s.
3. Talk to yourself and about yourself positively – I can talk about my child and all of her cuteness all day long but talking about myself or to myself nicely feels weird and uncomfortable. I have noticed that some of the things that I would tell myself; I wouldn’t dare tell my daughter. Comments such as “you look fat in that” or “you didn’t reach your goal because you are a failure” are some examples of the terrifying things that I would say to myself without even blinking an eye. Here are some affirmations that you can practice saying to yourself daily.
- I look good today
- I have gone through a lot in life and I am strong
- I can do anything I set my mind to
- I am smart and a great learner
Let us know how you practice self-love, fire off in the comments. We look forward to hearing from you. If you would like to find support or connect with a therapist connect with our team at www.compasscounseling.com. If you would like to schedule an appointment today click here!
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