I’ve got my coffee in one hand and a baby on my hip as I try again to figure out why the video keeps freezing up on the app I am using to telecommute. I guess this is literally “work-life balance.” I head to sit in the car in the driveway in the hopes of getting a better signal. The face on the screen looks as worried as my own. This surreal life we have all been thrust into is taking a toll. On all of us. Working full-time while also raising kids and maintaining a household is rough. Then subtract daycare. Throw in some financial uncertainty. Decide to work from home along with your spouse. Oh, and add a global Pandemic. The idea of “work-life balance” is a quaint notion. We are in survival mode.

What if our parents get sick? What if the stock market never recovers? What if we can’t flatten the curve? What kind of world are we leaving our children? Can we manage to work long-term without any daycare? Will the banks close? Who needs that much toilet paper?

Remember the newborn days, when you operated on pure adrenaline and caffeine and tried to savor each moment? Looking back, it’s all a blur for many of us. Those long days of sleep-deprivation, self-doubt and convincing ourselves to just “power through.” Mama never said there would be days like this. I’m used to pointing out irrational thoughts in my clients, helping to alleviate their anxiety, reassuring them that everything will be okay. Right now, I am right there with them though. It’s hard to tell them not to worry when I am worried. Hard to tell them to take time for themselves when even a shower feels selfish. Hard to encourage healthy boundaries and setting limits when there is not enough of you to go around as it is. Hard to practice healthy expression of negative emotions when you’ve just stepped on your thousandth Lego.

Working mamas, I’m looking at you. I share your anxiety about these uncertain times. And if I could just tell you three things to help you get through it – I would say…

1. Chill out lady! So many of us moms struggle with control issues, as if controlling schedules and routines and decisions can alleviate our anxiety. It only creates more! Relax the rules a bit! At least for now. Some structure is important, but sometimes feeding them cereal for dinner is necessary. Or letting them stay up late. Or giving too much screen time (gasp). You never have to be a perfect mom, but especially not now. The same goes for your house and your face.

2. Ask for and accept help! Now is not the time to be a martyr. It will only breed exhaustion and resentment. That might mean using those assertive communication skills you’ve been working on in therapy to let your partner know what you need. He can’t read your mind, no matter how much you may expect him to.

3. Remember the message echoed daily – distance does not have to mean isolation. Reach out. Even if only virtually, surround yourself with other moms who get it. Those who support you, empower you and most importantly, make you laugh!

Being a mom, working from home, “social distancing.” These can all cause loneliness. But you aren’t alone. We aren’t alone. There is hope on the other side of this. Hope that maybe we will come out of this changed. More connected to our families. Looking at new and more fulfilling ways to work. Valuing community like never before. You are strong, mama. The heart of the household. You’ve got this.

Leslie Donner, is a Licensed Psychological Practitioner, and helps women find a way to be happy (not perfect) and enjoy life while letting go of preconceived notions of what womanhood is supposed to look like. Leslie practices in the Paducah location you can schedule an appointment with her by texting or calling 270-777-4490 or by clicking the gold book an appointment button below!

LEARN MORE ABOUT TELEHEALTH THERAPY & ONLINE COUNSELING ANYWHERE IN KENTUCKY HERE!

You can also book an ap pointment here!

How to keep your sanity while parenting and working from home