Re-frame your Thoughts When Your Holiday Isn’t Picture Perfect
If your holiday never quite looks like that picture-perfect scene from the ending of another Hallmark Channel’s Christmas special, try these three tips in order to enjoy the holiday and not leave the time feeling unfulfilled or disappointed.
1. Set realistic expectations: This is a huge lesson that will help your holiday season. It is super easy to watch tv/movies and desire what we see on there—whether it is your spouse who buys you the perfect gift—without you giving any hints, or your mother saying the most heartfelt and sincere kind words to you at Christmas Dinner, remember that these scenes are written by really good writers—they are fiction and not real. Instead think about who the people in your life are (not how we might imagine them to be if they had a writer telling them what to say and do), and give yourself a realistic expectation of how they might be/what they might say. It’s ok if they are not “perfect”—they are human; it’s also ok to set realistic expectations for yourself—what you can get done/who all you can visit in the time that you have without wearing yourself out.
2. Make memories: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. Why is this movie such a treasure? It has so many funny moments—that if we are honest would not feel great in the moment if it happened to us. Turn that stressful moment into a game and ask yourself, “how long will this take to be something we can laugh about later?” Tell yourself or your partner witnessing that moment with you “this will make a great memory sometime soon!”. When we shift our thinking from “how did this happen; this is the worst” to “we are will laugh so hard about this later” our stress goes down and we can get back to enjoying the day/time with the family.
3. Have a plan to vent: Collect the stories (with the intention of laughing about it) and set a time to connect with friends after the holiday in order to share your stories (whether horror or humor) over coffee or a drink. Make it a time to vent and at the same time share and support your friends too!
Only Hallmark characters have that “picture-perfect” Christmas. If we stop trying to force our holiday season to look a specific way, know that we will have bumps, and not take ourselves too seriously, we can enjoy what our Christmas is!