My Child and COVID-19
“I Can’t Fix This, but I Hear You… “
As a parent, helping my child cope with COVID-19 has been a challenge. Majority of students have now been doing virtual learning for almost 9 months with no anticipated end in sight. Children are struggling with symptoms of anxiety, sleeplessness, depression, and loneliness more than ever before. Parents and teachers are both exhausted and are coming to the bottom of their own emotional barrels. It would be easy for parents to wave the white flag, submitting to the defeat of 2020. However, we love our children, and they motivate us to keep going and do better!
So how do we help our kids thrive emotionally in a pandemic when we are running low ourselves? How do we offer support and help them cope with social isolation when we also feel lonely? One simple statement can help bring a sigh of relief almost immediately, “I can’t fix this, but I hear you…”
Never underestimate the power of validation and empathy in difficult times. It is human nature to want to fix things that are completely out of our control. As parents, we want to remove obstacles from our children. We want to protect them from anything that could bring them harm. Unfortunately, there are certain things in life that cannot simply be fixed. There are problems that are not easily solved. This is when we need to dig deep and bring out the one superpower that can lessen almost any painful experience. The power of validation and empathy.
Here are some helpful things that you can say to your child to make them feel less alone and more understood in their world as they experience it.
I can’t fix this, but I hear you…
How can I support you right now?
This is hard. Can you tell me how you are feeling?
Whenever possible, provide a safe space and a time every week for children to talk about their emotions. Use this as an opportunity to simply listen and offer supportive reflection skills. Paraphrase what your child is saying and confirm with them to make sure you have the right interpretation. This is an important time to also offer a hug or a word of encouragement, such as: “You are doing a great job!” or “I am so proud of you!”
For children that are younger or less talkative, here are some alternative ways they can express their emotions and feel validated.
Provide a diary or blank journal to write emotions that are difficult to express. Children who are illiterate can also use a sketchbook for expressive illustrations.
Use apps such as Marco Polo with peers and family members to lessen social isolation. Children can send videos back and forth throughout the week at their convenience. This way they can experience loneliness together.
The most important thing a parent can do is be present with their child, even in the difficult emotions. It is also okay to struggle with your children, which in turn validates their experience. By allowing yourself to be vulnerable, it gives permission for your child to do the same. By allowing your him/her to see the “human side” of you, it creates a space that is safe and familiar.
If you feel like your child is struggling more than normal, or if you need additional support, do not hesitate to reach out to a professional. There are mental health therapists who are available to see your child in person or through telehealth to help provide that safe space for them to process their emotions.
Download our Free E-Book 10 Questions to Ask Before Starting Counseling. Learn more at www.compasscounseling.com If you would like to schedule an appointment today click here!
Jessica sees clients in person at the Lewisport office and through online counseling via telehealth. Her ideal clients are those who are willing and ready to make changes so they can become the best versions of themselves.